This picture just sums up my last week....

Really?!? Is someone out there testing my postpartum depression capacity... pushing me to the brink? Luckily, I'm still keeping my head above water and hoping this week is a little more sane. The last week was filled with doctor appointments for me, Gregor, Larkin, me, and me again, car maintenance, Gregor's job being "reorganized" in not a great way, talks of long-term birth control, no naps for the girls, paying for preschool, my grandfather in the hospital for a week, windy and cold weather, no sleep, and so many other little things (like the blow-out pictured here!) that I can't even remember them all... in one word... challenging (or just plain shitty).

Larkin's doctor's appointment made me feel like a terrible mom. She had what I thought were just warts on her knee (front and back) and I was going to talk to the doc about them at her 4 yr old checkup in two weeks. BUT when I looked at one of them on thursday it was so GROSS... infected, huge, white... just gross and angry. Yeah, I'm a good mom right! The doctor asks me how long it's been there... I have no idea! I have four kids... I didn't see it the last time I gave her a bath... when was that again... four days ago!! I'm doing the best that I can here. Anyhow, they had to lance it and drain it there in the office with me trying to handle all three other kids while holding larkin down on the table... not so fun. Now she can't take a bath with anyone... only showers for awhile until they heel. She has molluscum contagiosum... now that just sounds gross.

So here's to a better week.

so funny...we are watching Annie right now and singing "the sun will come out tomorrow" ... how fitting is that!

Put in my Place by an almost 4 year old

I had a tough day yesterday... I don't know why, it was just one of those days (could have been the throbbing, burning, shooting pain in my arm that is apparently a pinched elbow nerve... oh yay). Anyhow, I was putting Larkin and Brooke to bed and their room was a total mess. I start going off on how they need to pick up their toys, get their jammies on, brush teeth, stop jumping on the bed... you know, the nightly bedtime battle... and Larkin looks at me and says,

"Mom, are you mad at me? You are using a really mean voice and not being really nice, and I don't think I did ANYthing? Are you just tired?"

Um.... yeah Larkin, you got it right... I am taking out my pain and tiredness on my not even 4 year old... I am soooooo sorry. I felt SO bad! Bad mommy night. I want a time-out. Good thing I have an old soul daughter to put me in my place! Who's the mom again?

A tough few days and a couple of firsts

Baby Nellie... so so little and so so sick! On her one month birthday what I thought was just a little cold turned out to be a lot lot worse. Nellie literally did not sleep or eat from midnight on monday until I could get her into the doctor tuesday morning. She just screamed and screamed and screamed. I new something was definitely wrong. "Maybe your baby was just a little fussy last night and you should see how she does throughout the day," the nurse said when I called in the morning. Hell NO! There is something seriously wrong with my kid and I want to see the freaking doctor NOW! I'm a mom of FOUR, and I freaking know the difference between fussy and sick! That was the response in my head, but over the phone, I politely requested the first available appointment. So 45 minutes later, I found that that Nellie was indeed very sick. She has RSV (don't know what that stands for... but it's not good), bronchitis in her lungs, ear infections in BOTH ears and a fever of 101. Not good... especially not good for a 4 week old. That's what happens when you have so many kids... they all bring home all kids of bugs. Because she's so young with a fever they had to draw blood from her arm (I had to hold her while they drew blood with a needle that really was Huge... not fun at all). Then it was either admit her into the hospital to observe her over night, or let me watch over her all night. We decided to take her home, and I literally stared at her for 36 hours straight to make sure she was breathing. She didn't nurse for an entire day. My poor boobs were HUGE and hurting... I am so thankful for my fantastic neighbor for bringing over her breast pump, a bag of waters, and taking care of me for the day... someone needed to while I was taking care of Nellie! Gregor took care of the other girls and Hudson, and I just stared at Nellie, begging her to eat so I didn't have to admit her to the hospital for an IV. She also got a huge shot of antibiotics on tuesday and another on wednesday to knock out whatever it was that was making her sick (hopefully). Nellie finally started eating again early wednesday morning and seems in much better spirits today. We are hopefully out of the danger zone. She is still snotty and has a little cough, but she is much much better.
Nellie has had a good day today. She SMILED for the first time... looking at me in the eyes, while a huge grin spread across her face... it just melted my heart. My mission is to get a picture of this smile... it is just adorable!
Also, Nellie took a bottle today for the first time like it was no big deal at all!! I got a few funky moles removed today and because of the numbing shots, I have to pump and dump for 6 hours. The doctor told me this after the shots... grrr... .thankfully, I had a bottle of pumped milk in the fridge from the day Nellie didn't eat... so we had to figure it out. I've never had any luck with bottles. None of my kids used them, they acted like trying it was torture! I don't even know how to properly heat a bottle! Thanks again to Sarah for bringing over the bottle warmer and bottles... who knew I would actually Need them (although I still can't figure out how to use the warmer). So yeah, I was prepared for a fight, but No! Nellie just drank the entire 4 ounces like it was no big deal at all! This may change my life! Maybe I'll start pumping and let someone else wake up and feed her during the night (what do you think Gregor!)... I can pump and send a bottle with her once she can go to the gym so maybe I can actually get a workout! Maybe I can pump a bottle and Gregor and I can have a date night for longer than an hour and a half. There are so many possibilities here that I've never had before with any of my kids!! The one not fun part of all of these plans is pumping. It's awkward and time consuming. It's hard with other kids running around. Larkin andBrooke were mesmerized for 20 minutes though watching the bottles fill with milk.

Happy 1 Month Nellie!

Nellie is one month old today! Yay Nellie.... for your one month birthday you get.... a cold! That's right, with boogies, sneezes and a cough included. Nellie goes in for her one month appointment on Wednesday so I'll update this with her height and weight etc, but for now I'll just say that she seems to have doubled in size this month! (not really, but she does seem like a big girl now!) Her 0-3 month clothes are starting to feel a little snug already. I just want to keep her a tiny baby forever. Aside from the lack of sleep, this is one of my favorite ages. They are just so snuggily and sleepy and just want to cuddle with mom... love it!

So here are pictures of Hudson, Larkin and Brooke at one month (in that order). I'm trying to figure out who Nellie looks the most like, but honestly, I think she is a such a combination of traits that I can't say one or the other definitively. What do you think?

Favorite Things #18 and #19

Favorite Thing #18: Boogie Wipes. It's not so much about the "saline" in these wipes... I don't know if that actually does anything for the noses, but the SMELL of these is FANTASTIC. I love love love the artificial grape smell... and as a bonus they are great at getting that dried snot that sticks to my kids' cheeks (and arms)!

Favorite Thing #19: The Contigo Autoseal Cup. I got pressured into buying one of these at starbucks by an emotional 2-year old... not naming names (brooke), but I actually LOVE it. I have issues with the sippy cups. Every single one of them that I've had in the past leaks, and those plastic parts in the lids get GROSS! These are great because the lids are all one piece and you can put them in the dishwasher. We now own three (one for each kid). It took Brooke a little bit of practicing to get the hang of pushing the button while you drink, but she's got it now. I feel confident throwing one of these into my purse (aka, my super huge, super heavy, hip mom of four bag).

grosser than gross

What's grosser than gross?

Slipping not once but twice on huge snot bombs dropped all over the floor from your daughter (in bare feet I might add). Yes, I woke up yesterday and found puddles of snot all over the floor. It solved the mystery of where all the snot was going from the sneezes I kept hearing. A great way to start the day.

Our winter storm this morning

This is just a snip-it of the storm that is rocking Crozet today. I just had to run down the snowy windy road to rescue one of our shutters that flew off the house! Don't know if it was worth it or not! I'm crossing my fingers that we don't lose power today!

Pictures

Here are a few pictures from this weekend. Hudson on top of what he calls his "playground" and I like to call Mt. Bargamin. Gregor and Nellie having an early morning moment... ahhh sweet. Larkin and Brooke having an afternoon snow snack... and as you can see they are dressed for the occasion. What happened to Larkin's pants you ask? I have no idea... it's her new style.

New Jeans

It was a sad sad day. I got a small rip in the crotch of my maternity jeans... my GOOD maternity jeans... the ones that were supposed to last me through my fourth trimester until I was able to fit into my "big girl" jeans. I thought I could still get away with wearing them. No one could really see the rip... that is until I bent down and ripped them even more under the entire butt! I guess that's what happens when you wear the same pair of jeans pretty much every single day of your pregnancy. RIP favorite jeans. So that left me with my one other pair of maternity jeans as literally the ONLY pants that fit me. One pair of pants doesn't not work with an infant. Every single day Nellie either spits up on my pants or has a poop blowout that inevitably ends up on my pants. I've had to clean my jeans with wipes because I couldn't get them through the laundry fast enough and I literally did not have any other pants! I actually tried on Gregor's jeans to see if I could get away with wearing those! I was pleased to see that they were too big (thank you... I think I would have cried if G's jeans actually fit me!), but was sad that I really had no alternatives, and who wants to buy jeans when they just had a baby 3 weeks ago! Not pretty!! But, I broke down and did just that... Thank you old navy for selling tall/long sizes and for having cheap jeans. I truly hope these jeans only fit for another couple of weeks... I don't like having to buy double digit sizes. Come on baby weight, it's time to start melting away. Why does that seem to take longer and longer after each kid? Is it because I'm older? not working out as much? Not making as much milk? Whatever the reason, I don't like it! If you haven't noticed, I'm very attached to my jeans.

Another snowed in weekend

That's right, we got another foot of snow this past weekend. Hudson and Larkin were pretty much out of school all of last week (hence no blog postings.... nothing like being thrown into the world of 4 kids with NO SCHOOL... it's like summer without the pool... just plain scary!). I just got an e-mail update that school for both kids is cancelled again tomorrow, and we are expected to get another 1-3 inches of snow on tuesday. Let me guess... school is going to be cancelled on tuesday too? At this rate Hudson is going to be in school until mid July... humm... I wonder if they really do have to make up these days in June. I want to post pictures, but I'm just too lazy to walk downstairs and get the camera and cord.... which reminds me, our camera is still being fixed by the geek squad... should that really take a month? The kids have had fun with this snow though this time. Hudson is finally learning how to play in the snow and will now readily ask to go outside and play. I'm excited that something can distract him from the wii and the computer for an hour! Larkin and Brooke are still stuck on mamma mia. We lost it for a couple of days (not fun... again, another reason for no blog updates!), but we have it again now... thank you thank you thank you. Nellie is still the "angel baby" and was 3 weeks old on friday. After three kids, I do know one thing however about angel babies... you will eventually have to pay your dues at one of the stages. Larkin was an angel baby. She slept in her crib at an early age, slept through the night pretty early, and was generally very agreeable and relaxed. Once she learned to talk and walk however, she became a force to be reckoned with! I struggled and still struggle to find discipline that works on her. She laughed in the face of time-out and would literally put herself in time-out after she hit Hud. It was worth it in her mind I guess. She wasn't attached to any toy enough to change her behaviour with the threat of taking a toy away. This worked on Hudson... just mention taking away his buzz lightyear and he would have perfect behavior. So yeah, you pay for it at some point. With this rationale though, I'm thinking that Brooke will be the most fantastic and pleasant teenager, because I think we having been paying our dues with her for her entire life. She came out crying and really has been challenging ever since. I'm interested to see how Nellie shapes up after a year or so when her little personality starts to emerge. Right now, she is just the cutest little snuggle bunny ever. Yes, I'll try to get pictures on here tomorrow. I'm still amazed at how fast these kids grow!