Bagels, Blood and Poop

So today is another one of those days where I have to laugh at the absurdity of events because if I didn't I would surely cry. So the day started off fine... we decided to go to bodos (our awesome bagel place for those of you not in C'ville) for breakfast. Gregor thought he could join us, but alas he had to go to work 2 minutes after we got there. So it's me with the three kiddos. I order... fine... I get our straws, napkins, etc... fine... I go to pick up our food and all the sudden Hud is screaming. I look over and he is gushing... and when I say gushing I mean GUSHING blood from his mouth. What happened?? He was hot dogging at usual and fell off the booth and bit is tongue on the side and the tip. I though he bit it off there was so much blood coming out of his mouth. On top of that, Larkin then falls off the booth and hurts her knee- not nearly as dramatic, but you'd never know it from her scream. They keep calling my order number, I'm sweating, so this nice guy with an 18 month old next to us goes to get my food... thank you nice guy! I finally get hud settled (a bit) at least he isn't swallowing pints of blood anymore... and who gets ticked off... Brooke. I pick her up on my other lap (yes, with three kids, somehow you develop additional laps to accommodate everyone) only to discover that she has had a blowout poop. So now, I'm sitting in Bodos with blood all over my shirt and yellow poo all down my leg and arm. Somehow, I manage to change Brooke's entire outfit and poo diaper on my lap with hud under my arm. Finally, we get somewhat settled enough to eat our bagels (well, not hud... he can't eat anything with a big swollen tongue poor guy), but what should happen next... the guy next to me who helped me get my food is shocked to find that his daughter has thrown up all over the table and floor... at that point the guy and I just laugh... seriously is there another bodily fluid that we haven't covered yet! After that it's off to the gym so I can at least change my nasty clothes (into equally nasty old gym clothes. Hud and Larkin have breakdowns in the gym day care when I try to drop them off, but I guess they get over it because I just leave... sorry guys, mom needs a little wind down time or I'm going to cry. I come back 45 minutes later and everything seems to be settled down. Hudson is feeling a little better (although his tongue looks like it really hurts!). We decide to head to a new park for lunch (McGuffy Park... awesome for those c'ville moms out there). We had a great time there. I'm thinking the day has taken a turn for the better. But, no. We get stuck in 45 minutes of traffic on the way home, with Brooke crying pretty much the whole time and Larkin talking the Entire time, "go mom... why aren't you going? what's traffic? go mom... I said go? why is Brooke crying?... and on and on and on.." So we get home finally and what next.... grace has gone through the trash and spread it all over the freaking house!! Damn dogs. So that's where I am now. Hudson is asleep in the car, Larkin is asleep upstairs, Brooke is crying because she's only has 20 minutes of a nap today and is refusing to sleep, and the trash is picked up from around the house. I wonder what the rest of the night has in store for us. I'm going to call the neighbor and see if she can babysit tonight... mommy needs a break!